Yo-yo yoga

I hate this new yoga class.

Correction: The class is not new. I am new to it.

The teacher tells us to let go of any judgments we may have, but I can’t stop judging her.

Her voice reminds me of a certain type of person she may or may not be.

Her smile has a sharp edge that could cut you in a way you might not notice til you saw the blood.

We are supposed to flow but it feels more like we are rushing to get somewhere.

But. The teacher is not responsible for what I do here today. I am.

I fume in silence, my mind racing as my body bends and stretches, folding and unfolding.

I slink out afterward, vowing never to return.

And yet … I feel taller now, as I get out of the car on the way home and stride into the post office.

Whose fault is that?

 

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6 Responses to Yo-yo yoga

  1. cristinafairydust says:

    I happened to come across your post and I liked i! It is something that is not discussed in yoga circles but I believe we are all dealing with when practicing Yoga with a Teacher. I am inclined to believe it is not judging but what you feel. Yoga is about feel , in our practice we want to feel as we integrate body and mind. We always forget we are not perfect.

    I have had only couple of classes where teachers manage to take me from my body out into y spirit as if I am not there anymore so there is no moment that I think of my teacher I just flow and by the time the class ended I was somewhere else. Not there , my body was there but my mind was not.

    I believe this is how we can get away from those moments where our mind start feeling the person in the room by turning inwards into our practice we manage to escape the chatter.

    This should be Yoga.

  2. bgddyjim says:

    I think you’re being too hard on yourself… Sometimes we just don’t fit with some people. I just accept it and move on. Life is too short.

    • tischcaylor says:

      You’re right. But I may stick with it a bit longer because this free (with my Y membership) class is much cheaper than physical therapy for my troubled neck. At some point, though, it might be worth casting about for a different class, even if I’ve got to drive a bit farther to get there.

      • cristinafairydust says:

        I will give you an idea. I like going to class but the days I feel like relaxing and just be at home without taking the drive I practice in my room with an on line class. Try http://www.yogatoday.com They have a free class every week. I absolutely love the teachers and they give very good instructions. I practice with Adi Amar or Neesha but they have new instructors that are good depending on what type a class you are looking for. I paid for a membership like 80 dollars for one year and that is nothing because you have so many classes to choose from. In the beginning I was reluctant to practice like that but once you get used to it is great is just you at your pace and in peace and quite, no judging it improved my practice greatly over time. I absolutely suggest you to try it couple of times see how you feel about it. I play it on my laptop , dim the light and light up a candle and also play a soft yoga music in my background from my ipod. It is like magic :)) Hope it will help you as well.

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